The Sunshine After All That Rain
by Maye1
Summary: What happens when you lose one of the most important people in your life? AU about Rory becoming a young widow and what helps her snap out of her deep depression...if I said any more I'd ruin it
1. Coping with it all

AN: I've taken quite the hiatus from this site, not writing since I was 16 years old. I read those stories and smiled, and remembered how much I enjoyed writing them. I dont know if those stories will be continued...so much has happened in the show since I wrote those. But, who knows? I did, however, come up with this new idea for a story that I couldn't stand to not write...please R/R...it would make me so happy :).

CHAPTER ONE:

No one understood. Not one person in her life, try as they might, could come up with an answer that could make everything better for her. She always found herself wondering why it happened. She was too young to be a widow. Too young to live life alone, no one to miss her when she stayed late at work. No one to have dinner with. No reason for that extra chair at the table. No need for those 6 extra feet of bed that always made her feel all the more alone. It was a year ago today, and as she put flowers on his tombstone, and cried for the millionth time that year, she couldn't find the courage to find any happiness. Sure, her Mother tried to get her to go out, Lane was always there with the babies trying to get her to move forward with her life, but it seemed like nothing could break her out of this.

"Honey, I know you loved Logan, and it took me a while but I loved him too, but...you need to get out other than work. At least once a week. Promise me?" Lorelai worried about her daughter constantly. She was on her mind all the time, from the time she woke up to the time she went to sleep. How to make her feel better. How to make her know she can move on, and its what Logan would have wanted.

"Mom, I know you think that I can get over this, but I dont think I can. Everytime I try to think about something else, some memory of him floods into my head. I think about him all the time. His laugh, his smell, his touch. I dream about it. I hear someone coming up the stairs, and I think maybe its him? Maybe this was all some cruel joke and he'll come in the door and hug me, and everything will be ok. But that never happens, and I'm stuck here thinking about how it could be different. If I wouldn't have sent him out for that carton of milk, he wouldn't be gone. Everything would be ok. He would be fine and with me. Its all my fault he's gone!" Rory cried on her Mother's shoulder for what seemed like forever. How could she survive without her Mother there?

'Rory, sweetie, I know that you think its your fault, but its not. Logan wouldn't blame you either. He loved you so much, and all he wanted was to see you happy." Lorelai patted her daughters back, and finally Rory fell asleep in her Mothers arms. "I love you, babe." Lorelai placed a blanket over her daughter, praying that she would find some way to move on, even a little bit. Something to make her feel a little more whole.

TWO MONTHS LATER

Rory sat on the black leather couch waiting for Dr. Rubenstein to come in. Highly recommended by their family doctor, Rory finally decided she needed a little help dealing with her feelings. She had been seeing him for a while, and nothing seemed to help. She finally heard footsteps and the door opening. She had been scared since the first time she went that he'd rule her out and call her a nutjob, it hadn't happened yet. Still, she thought, funny farm here I come.

"Hello, Rory, its always a pleasure to see you."

Dr. Rubenstein had such a calm voice, the kind that instantly makes you feel more at ease. She breathed a sigh of relief...she loved to just listen to him sometimes. "I'm sorry I'm such a pain, Dr., I just can't seem to respond to any of your help..."

"Rory, thats a perfectly normal feeling. It's always hard at first, but I have something that I think will make things easier. I am going to give you a piece of paper and a pen. I want you to write down some of the things you love to do, and then check all of the ones you've done recently. I have a little project for you, Rory."

Dr. Rubenstein handed her a pad and a pen and she started writing. Five minutes later, her list was done. He looked it over:

1. Going out to the movies

2. Dinner dates

3. Going to the carnival

4. Going out for ice cream

5. Writing and reading

6. Going to dance lessons

7. Cooking lessons

"Rory, I can't help but notice that you haven't done one thing you love recently besides write and read. While its good that you're doing one thing you love, I suggest doing a little bit more.." Dr. Rubenstein flipped over to a blank piece of paper and wrote his instructions down for Rory. "I want you to try every week to incorporate something you love into your routine that you have going right now. I am going to give you this pad of paper and you're going to use it as a...journal of sorts. Track the progress of what you did, and how it made you feel, okay?"

Rory was a little nervous. She had stopped her life when she found out her husband had been hit by a drunk driver that hot July night. I guess she never thought about going back to any of her normal stuff. "Okay, I think I can handle it..." Rory got up to leave and slipped her pad and pen into her purse. What was she going to do first?

She arrived home and realized that none of these things were fun without someone to do them with. Maybe half the battle was learning how to do things alone. Right now, though, she was tired. She had slept only a little the night before, and it was all interuppted. She slipped into one of Logan's work shirts and inhaled deeply. She sprayed his cologne on them to make sure his smell never went away. She laid down and drifted off to sleep, but awoke to the sound of the phone ringing. She looked at the clock and realized she had been sleeping for six hours...a little longer than she expected. She picked up the phone and groggily answered, "Hello?"

"Hi, honey, how are you?" Her mothers voice was on the other end of the line, worried as usual about her. Even though Lorelai had other things in her life now, she and Luke were married and they had a baby on the way, she always made sure Rory was OK.

"Good, Mom...Dr. Rubenstein gave me a project. Do something I love at least once a week. I thought you'd like that. I thought maybe you two teamed up." She tried to tease her Mother, to get that wit back into their conversation sometimes. It was kinda like old times.

"That's great, babe. Your old dance lessons are calling your name. I'll even go with you if you need a partner! Tomorrow night, what do ya say? Call there and see whats up." Lorelai was so excited to hear that her daughter might be doing something she loved, even in small incriments.

"That's fine, Mom. Dancing it is, I'll call tomorrow and get back to you on it, ok?" Rory wasn't sure if it was her Mom's excitment about it, or if she was kind of excited too, but she felt a little bit better.

"Great, babe. Me and Luke are getting ready to go out to dinner. He's trying to get me to eat a little bit better for the little one...I've tried to protest but now we're going out to this place he says has "awesome salads" YUCK! Will you come with and join my revolution against the good for you foods?" Lorelai always tried to get her daughter to go out with her. Most of the time to no avail.

"Not tonight, Mom. I'm so tired, I think I'm just gonna crash. Maybe we'll be dancing tomorrow, though...I'll call..."

"Okay hun, I love you, sleep good."

"I love you too, Mom, goodnight." Rory hung up the phone with the smell of Logan all around her and fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning, Rory called about the dance lessons and there was one more spot for a couple open. For once in the past year, she was kinda happy to be getting out. She called her Mother and they had plans for 6pm, Salsa dancing at Hartford's dance studio.

Lorelai honked and Rory ran out in her dancing dress and shoes. She even put on a little make-up to try and make herself look presentable. She climbed into Lorelai's new Jeep and couldn't help but smile at the prospect of doing something new.

"You look great sweets, and we've both got our dancing shoes on so let's get going! I'm afraid some guy might try to pick me up because I'm so BIG and attractivly pregnant, so if someone tries...we're taking dance lessons for OUR wedding later in the year...got it?"

"Got it, Mom." Rory laughed and they were on their way to the dance studio.

"What's that dance from Dirty Dancing? I think we should learn that one! I could be Patrick Swayze and you could be Baby and we could rock that place!" Lorelai said as they were walking up the stairs behind the slowest walker in history. "I hope Grandpa over here isn't coming to the same class we are!" Lorelai whispered a little too loudly.

"Mom, I dont think so and also, why do I always have to be Baby and you're always Swayze? It's just not fa---" Rory stopped mid-sentence as she saw a familiar face inside of the room. He started walking up to her with that same smug grin she always remembered. She hadn't seen him since Chilton, but she would always remember him..

"MARY! Fancy seeing you here!!"

TBC...but I think you all know who the mystery guy is :).


	2. One step forward and two steps back

CHAPTER TWO:

"Tristan...fancy seeing you here. Just to remind you, the names still Rory, I haven't offically changed it yet." Rory couldn't help but smile at him.

"You'll always be Mary in my heart. What are you doing here, anyway?" Tristan always wondered if he'd ever bump into Rory somewhere along the way. Their goodbye was pretty weak, and he really had it bad for her back in high school.

"Umm...just...me and my Mom, we decided to take dancing lessons. You know, keep in shape and all that..." She didn't want to tell them the real reason, it was not something you flash around everywhere you go. "What are you doing here, Tristan? Here just to torment me like the old days?"

"Well, well, Mary, that's very concieted of you! Actually, I'm here to learn how to dance for my friend's wedding. I'm the best man and they want to do this elaborate dance...its pretty bad." Tristan laughed.

"Oh, that's exciting. I'm sure it'll be fun. Well, me and my Mom should get ready...I'll see you later..." Rory couldn't help but notice how Tristan stared at her like there was no one else in the room.

"Ok...maybe we can get lunch sometime. Catch up, we havent seen each other in a while now." Tristan hoped Rory would say yes. He crossed his fingers.

"I don't know, Tristan..." Rory looked a little worried. She didn't want to go too fast on this list. She wanted to save the dinner date for as late as possible.

"Oh, I get it, you're seeing someone. I'll keep trying, Mary, don't worry." Tristan smirked and it was like they were in high school again. He walked away and Lorelai noticed Rory was a little flushed.

"Hmm, hun, did you two have a lil thang going on that I didn't know about? You could cut that tension with a knife." They both laughed and walked into the room to get their dance lessons started.

Rory went home and decided to write in her journal about her one fun experience of the week. She pretty much enjoyed it except for the creepy man looking her up and down. She sat down and wrote:

"Good time tonight. Mom and I decided to cross dancing lessons off the list and we went for salsa.

I ran into an old friend there, and got sort of a warm feeling from that. For the first time since that July, I felt like I really should

be having some fun with my life. Not too much, I still miss Logan I still came home and put on his shirt.

I inhale the scent of his cologne and miss him like I always do, but somehow the dancing made me forget about life for a minute.

It made me realize that I'm 26 and need to have SOME fun, no matter how little."

Rory laid down and sniffed in the scent of her husband. It was a smell that made her feel safe and warm. She thought of everything great about Logan. He was fearless most of the time, he knew how to have fun. He made her feel like she was the only person he ever loved. She fell asleep thinking about him, just like every other night.

She woke up at 9am, which had become early for her. Ever since the paper told her to take some time off because she was doing so badly, she hadn't woken up before 1. She decided to go for a run. It was a nice summer day, the sun was shining and it hadn't gotten too hot yet. She was putting on her running shoes when her phone rang. "Hello?" She never even looked at the ID anymore, she knew it was either her Mother, Luke or Lane. She lost touch with all her other friends. People she knew through Logan told her at the funeral how they'd be there for her, they would grieve together...they just stopped calling. They had long since gotten over her husbands death. She was shocked when she heard a man's voice on the other end. A man that wasn't Luke.

"Hey, Rory, I told you I wasn't going to give up." Tristan smiled, hoping he hadn't gone too far.

"Tristan? How did you get my number?"

"Well, I called information and got your Mom's number and she gave it to me...I hope I'm not being too forward, but I would like to take you out sometime."

"I dont know if that would be such a good idea..."

"Why not? Are you seeing someone?"

"Kind of...it's really complicated, Tristan."

"Kind of? What does that mean?"

"Well...its like..." Rory wringed her hands and tried to think of what to say. Should she tell him? "My husband..."

"Oh.." Tristan cut her off "You're married? I didn't even consider that...I didn't even think of it...I'm sorry."

"He died. My husband. I'm not really looking to go on any dates, Tristan."

"Oh...I'm so sorry...umm...wow..." He tried to think of something to say. He never dealt with anything like that. He couldn't smooth his way out of this one.

"Yeah, well, I'd love to go to lunch and catch up, though. You have my number, but I was just about to go for a run so...bye, Tristan."

"Bye, Rory..." Tristan sat there for what seemed like hours. How could he have been so dumb? He never even considered marriage. A widow. Who was she married to? He had so many questions running through his mind...

Rory thought of Tristan while she ran. She even thought to herself how good looking he had gotten over the years. She immediately felt bad after that and tried to focus on Logan. Her husband, her one and only. She thought of their wedding, how they wrote their own vows and how he said he loved her exactly 5 times in them. How he said he'd be with her forever, no matter what. How he said he can't wait to see what their children will look like and how she was the one who made him tame his wild ways. Everyone laughed when they shoved cake in each others faces, and everyone awwed when they had their first dance and Logan cried. She remembered them picking out names for their children while laying in bed. She would never have that with anyone else, she thought. And if she did, wouldn't she be cheating Logan in a way? They wanted that together and he would never have it, so she shouldn't either, right? No matter how happy she ever got, she always thought of these things and brought herself down again.

TBC...I wrote those two together but couldn't post this one for some reason, I finally got it! haha, thanks for the reviews I got so far, I hope you enjoy this one too!


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